Wednesday, September 27, 2017

FIRST THE TAO, THEN ZEN, AND THEN A PARODY by Martin Shepard

My grandparents all came from Russia. Some had religious ties, others were atheists, but all were pacifists. When it came down to my father and mother’s affiliations and those of their generation, all were agnostic at best and none of their children (my cousins, or anyone in our extended family) had any religious education at all, for which I am eternally grateful, since it’s enabled me to avoid tribalism, be it nationalism, racial, or religious.

My favorite book is not fiction which we largely publish, Nor even memoirs It is Stephen Mitchell’s translation of  La-tzu’s the Tao Te Ching—81 short poetic statements about the Way things are. The front flap talks about at the basic predicament of being alive; about wisdom in action and imparts a balance and perspective that leads to a serene and generous spirit. I read it repeatedly in my 30’s and have gone back to again. 

It is the most widely read translated book in world literature after the Bible. Yet few of my friends and contemporaries have ever read it, But if there were one book I would recommend to one and all to read, it wouldn’t be a anything from one of the mega publishers or smaller ones like us, but this engrossing and timeless work.

So what spurred me to write this blog now? Coming across an article written 12 years ago called Zen Judaism. And it was funny. And we can all enjoy something that can foster laughter.

                                    *        *       *

ZEN JUDAISM

* If there is no self,

   whose arthritis is this? 

* Be here now. 

   Be someplace else later. 

   Is that so complicated? 

* Drink tea and nourish life. 

   With the first sip... joy. 

   With the second... satisfaction. 

   With the third, peace. 

   With the fourth, a danish. 

* Wherever you go, there you are. 

   Your luggage is another story. 

* Accept misfortune as a blessing. 

   Do not wish for perfect health 

   or a life without problems. 

   What would you talk about? 

* The journey of a thousand miles 

    begins with a single "oy." 

* There is no escaping karma. 

    In a previous life, you never called, 

    you never wrote, you never visited. 

    And whose fault was that? 

* Zen is not easy. 

   It takes effort to attain nothingness. 

   And then what do you have? 

   Bupkes.

* The Tao does not speak. 

   The Tao does not blame. 

   The Tao does not take sides. 

   The Tao demands nothing of others. 

   The Tao is not Jewish. 

* Breathe in. Breathe out. 

   Breathe in. Breathe out. 

   Forget this and attaining Enlightenment 

   will be the least of your problems. 

* Let your mind be as a floating cloud. 

   Let your stillness be as the wooded glen. 

   And sit up straight. You'll never meet the 

   Buddha with such rounded shoulders.

* Be patient and achieve all things. 

   Be impatient and achieve all things faster. 

* To Find the Buddha, look within. 

   Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. 

   Each flower blossoms ten thousand times.

   Each blossom has ten thousand petals. 

   You might want to see a specialist. 

* To practice Zen and the art of Jewish 

   motorcycle maintenance, do the following: 

   get rid of the motorcycle. 

   What were you thinking? 

* Be aware of your body. 

   Be aware of your perceptions. 

   Keep in mind that not every physical 

   sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness. 

* The Torah says,"Love thy neighbor as

   thyself." The Buddha says there is no "self." 

   So, maybe you are off the hook. 

* The Buddha taught that one should practice

   loving kindness to all sentient beings. Still, 

   would it kill you to find a nice sentient being 

   who happens to be Jewish? 

* Though only your skin, sinews, and bones

   remain, though your blood and flesh 

   dry up and wither away, 

   yet shall you meditate and not stir until 

   you have attained full Enlightenment.  

   But, first, a little nosh.

                                     *        *       *

I encourage you to share this blog with others who may enjoy it. I particularly welcome your comments on this cockeyed pessimist site. You can also reach me by email (shepard@thepermanentpress.com), and follow The Permanent Press on Facebook and Twitter for updates on all our titles!  


Marty



129 comments:

  1. Love reading this again! Thanks Marty! I read the copy of the Tao you gave me! ❤️

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  2. Marty,

    I enjoyed Zen Judaism a lot. Thanks for sending it. I'm passing it on to my (Jewish) wife, who I think will love it, too.

    Best,
    Peter

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  3. Marty: This is hilarious. And I've read The Tao many times over the decades.

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  89. Activate Amazon by Visiting our website. The Amazon video activation code is used to enact Amazon Prime items and check Prime membership. The Amazon Prime Video Code consists of digits and the code is on a card. To use this code, the card must be retrieved. Primevideo.com/mytv Activation code consists of two arrangements of characters and numbers separated by a hyphen. This code is fundamental to starting your Amazon Prime Video item.

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  90. Roku.com/link is the page to initiate your streaming device. Allow us to begin the Roku Activation process. From your wireless, open the web browser and paste the URL, www.Roku.com/link. A brief to give the Roku.com/link enter code will appear on the screen. Enter the Roku Activation code in the code space to finish the Roku device Activation. At first ensure that the computer device and the Roku streaming device have a similar wifi access. From that point forward, check whether the initial setup is done consummately.

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  91. Through www.amazon.com/mytv - how you can connect your mobile phone to Amazon Prime. Through amazon.com/mytv, you can watch your favorite TV shows, series movies. You can watch prime videos anywhere on your device. Users need to create an Amazon account if they don’t have an Amazon account and enter the Amazon my TV activation code to watch Amazon prime videos on your device.
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  92. Through www.amazon.com/mytv - how you can connect your mobile phone to Amazon Prime. Through www.amazon.com/mytv, you can watch your favorite TV shows, series movies. You can watch prime videos anywhere on your device. Users need to create an Amazon account if they don’t have an Amazon account and enter the Amazon my TV activation code to watch Amazon prime videos on your device.

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  96. hulu.com/activate Hulu is a premium online streaming platform offering some great shows and movies. It comes with a subscription plan, which you can change as per your need. You can sign-up and binge watch series without any ads. There are thousands of shows and movies in the streaming library. Further, once the Hulu activate process is completed, you can access to even more content by subscribing to premium networks. If you need to activate the Hulu, surf to the hulu.com/activate and enter the Hulu activation code

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  98. On the off chance that you're seeing Amazon Prime on your TV, you essentially need to open the application and get your extraordinary Amazon Activation code. It will be given to you when you endeavor to activate an alternate device for review. For instance, getting a Prime Trial notwithstanding contraption Activation code. At the point when you get the Amazon Activation code, enter it at amazon.com/mytv to complete the activation process.

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  100. To activate the service of www .amazon.com/mytv you will need to go to this site, enter the login information for your account from Amazon Video. Once you have logged into your account, you will be given a unique 5 or 6-digit code. After entering the amazon registration code, you need to press the button to continue and enjoy this service.

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  101. www.Amazon.com/mytv Amazon gives you Number Of Videos. you can watch it Now you can easily Activate Amazon on Your Device By visiting our website original site it is important to have an Amazon Prime account created heretofore. Note that this account will be a free login, only for the activation. Today we will Tell you How to connect your devices to Prime so you can undoubtedly watch and tune in to selective Prime video content from anyplace. You simply need to create amazon account and activate it by utilizing amazon mytv activation code Check This Out

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  102. To Get to the Amazon account, you should simply to enlist from your gadget and utilize the amazon.com/mytv enter code Wii that is of 5 to 6 character and it is arranged in the Amazon video application on the TV or the gadget. In the event that you don't know what is Amazon Prime, it is a paid membership application to www .amazon.com/mytv which will give you admittance to an enormous scope of administrations with free quick conveyance and limitless video web-based features that are only accessible with the arrangements among the others.

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  107. FuboTv is a good option for you if you wish to keep your access to your favorite channels and save it. While other streaming service providers upload their episodes only after the show has been aired, Fubo allows its subscribers to live to stream their favorite TV networks. When it comes to Fubotv sign up, many people face technical glitches and other issues. Not just during sign up, they face hindrances during fubotv connect enter code. fubo.tv/Connect

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  108. If you are also interested in using Prime membership benefits, then you can use this article from the beginning till the end. Once you purchase your subscription, you can use a wide of range features until your subscription expires. The membership benefits also include free delivery of eligible products as well as other exclussive offers. Simply, visit amazon.com/mytv Streaming online video content is trending nowadays because people are switching to modern ways of getting entertained. They subscribe to different streaming services such as Netflix, Hulu, and more. One such streaming service among many others is Amazon Prime.

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  109. You can add ESPN through your Roku device or through your computer or mobile device.We’re going to be talking about today is two really great streaming options for you. ROKU watch ESPN as you’re probably aware, is a option for streamers that allows you to get cable channels for the internet without a subscription. First of all you have enter ESPN.com/activate and ESPN activate.If you have not already done so, you will of course need to add ESPN to your Roku TV or Roku device.

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